WHY BOUNDARIES MAKE YOU MORE VALUABLE
I live in a small community within Los Angeles which centers around a 4 to 5 block “city center” filled with boutiques, tiny restaurants and exactly three coffee shops. While all three serve amazing coffee, one shop is more coveted than the other two. The “problem” is they don’t open until 8:30am. In LA that means you can’t even think about getting coffee there unless you don’t have to work until 10am. But nonetheless, every morning while the other two coffee shops who open at 7am serve a steady flow of customers, the late opening shop has a line out the front door and down the block. The reason I share this is because I find it incredibly ballsy to open a coffee shop that late in the morning. It’s literally telling our neighborhood, “we know we’re the best and if you want our coffee you’ll have to wait.” Now it’s not to say the owner or employees are arrogant in any way, but the truth is they have a lovely menu of baked goods (as do the other two shops), that they take pride in. They have to start at 5am to get everything made so it can be fresh for the customers that have come to depend on the shop’s insistence on perfection. And that is why people wait.
When you’re in a client based business, it can be tempting to do whatever the client asks. After all, if you’re in the wedding industry, you’re probably a people pleaser. But no matter your efforts, you’ll find out that saying yes to everything doesn’t necessarily mean the client is going to get a better experience. In fact, it often means the opposite. An example from my own business relates to how I scout for destination weddings. For every trip I take, I require that one of my event producers join me. This requirement comes at my couple’s expense and every now and then I have a potential client who asks me why I can’t just come alone. When questioned, I have to remind clients that this is something I need to produce their event well. And I know because I’ve planned hundreds of destination weddings, both on my own and with a lead producer by my side. In doing so, I’ve learned without a doubt what I need to be successful. Sure I COULD do it on my own, but it wouldn’t be executed as well. You see, I’m the creative on my team while my event producers are much more logistically minded. When I see a space, I do have a strong understanding of logistics, but I do my best work when I’m able to dream of all the possibilities and allow my event producer to figure out how the dream can be executed properly. She allows me to also be present with vendors and clients during the scouting trip because she’s there to catch every conversation and follow up accordingly. Ultimately bringing her along is what I need to do my job well. And that is what my client’s are hiring me for: to do the job well. Not cheaply, not half assed, but well. And that’s what your clients are hiring you for too, no matter what requests they make.
While you may think every couple just wants the lowest bidder or a planner who will bend at every whim, what they really want is an expert who can ensure their celebration will be successful. They may ask you to compromise on your needs because they don’t realize how that impacts your ability to deliver, but it’s not your job to give them everything they think they want. It’s your job to educate them on why what you’re providing is what they actually need. And sometimes that means you need to charge a higher fee so you can have the proper support or like the coffee shop mentioned above, sometimes it means you need more time to deliver the perfect design or in their case the perfect pastry. Whatever it is you need, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Clients are actually depending on you to do so. And I can promise you it is these boundaries that help you stand apart as an expert rather than someone who’s just stuffing envelopes and setting out escort cards.
If you want to learn more about developing boundaries and other actions you can take to increase your value, sign up here to receive instant and complimentary access to my session on “Getting Treated Like an Expert Instead of an Assistant”. In this session I talk more about the steps you can implement immediately that allow couples to understand your role and value from your very first conversation. And as always, if you have questions or a topic you’d like me to cover, please don’t hesitate to email me at thehelm@bethhelmstetter.com.